These specific items are what I have come up with SO FAR to help people attain Successfulness,
The existential state of being both sublimely happy & self-satisfied at once, on a perpetually self-sustaining basis.
(Please see my note “What Defines a Worthy Playboy” (http://www.facebook.com/note.php?note_id=316395895039651) for more about ‘Successfulness’)
Each of these is mandatory! Failure to internalize any of these steps may preclude one’s acheiving Successfulness!
A) Recognizing that Happiness, like Misery, is a state-of-mind – and as such, IS ALWAYS A CHOICE!
B) Learning to manage your expectations of YOURSELF, and of OTHERS, and of Yourself in the minds of others. (Enduring persistant disappointment is irrational – andentirely unnecessary.)
C) Identifing that SELF-DECEPTION is the true ROOT of ALL EVIL, and therefore Guarding against it above all else!
D) Appreciating and accepting yourself, and others – PARTICULARLY those of your gender-preference – And ensuring that you are neither tainting nor inflating your assessments due to INFATUATION, OBSESSION, PREJUDICE or ROMANCE! [see item C), above.]
E) Discovering who you truly ARE, and from that, determining what you’ll do – andNEVER DOING ANYTHING that you wouldn’t do. (ie., never compromising your integrity & ethical boundaries, even momentarily!)
F) Employing ‘Reasoned Confidence’. Developing a consistent and reliable model for your own rationale – Aligning your intellectual evaluations with your emotional ones, andensuring you come to quorum not JUST between those, but also with your conscience, BEFORE MAKING YOUR DECISIONS.
G) Internalizing that “AUTHORITY” & “RESPONSIBILITY” are actually the SAME CONCEPT – and that they must NEVER be allowed to be separated. They must ALWAYS be reciprocally congruent. This means, NEVER accepting responsibility for ANYTHING you cannot ultimately control – such as the emotions or decisions of other people!
H) Offering ‘Hobson’s Choice‘ to others. Exposing them to YOUR REAL SELF, accepting that THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE whether to begin or maintain a relationship with you, or not. (Pretending you are anything other than you genuinely are is UNFAIR to both of you!)
I) Liberating yourself from the oppression of societies’ counter-human rules & codes of conduct – and realizing that most EVERYONE is attempting to follow an artificially constructed lifestyle which is both IMPOSSIBLE and irrational, and provides NO OPPORTUNITY FOR SUCCESSFULNESS! Keeping yourself from doing anything in which you have reasoned confidence simply because you seek the approval (or fear the disapproval) of anyone you don’t genuinely ADMIRE is madness!
J) Reclaiming the ORIGINAL meaning of “Success”: A success is merely AN OUTCOME; the result of an ATTEMPT. One in a succession of successes,each successively attempted, which one hopes ideally will lead to a positive success, or even an optimal success.
Therefore, as the OPPOSITE of “Success” is FAILURE (ie, NOT MAKING AN ATTEMPT!)
One only FAILS when they cannot, or will not, make any attempt.
[We have, over generations, corrupted the word “success” to necessitate a positive result, thereby making “failure” the only alternative, and demotivating people even to TRY!]
K) Mastering your Ego – the voice in your head which intercepts everything you see, hear, and consider, and tells you WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO DO, discounting everything new or challenging as “foolhardy and pointless, and sure to cause pain & humiliation”.
It will remain IMPOSSIBLE to progress until you become comfortable ignoring or subjugating your Ego, because it fears EMBARRASSMENT more than misery & stagnation, and would sooner you suffer than IT – since learning ANYTHING NEW initially requires risking failure to accomplish it.
[See J) above.]
L) Understanding ‘Belonging’: No one can assign belonging to another – Belonging (literally to LONG for something) is something each individual determines about themselves. Your partner ONLY ‘belongs’ to you if he/she LONGS to be with you when they aren’t – and this has NOTHING TO DO WITH ‘PROPERTY’, ‘OWNERSHIP’, nor ‘POSSESSION’.
M) Realizing that JEALOUSY IS AN OPPOSITE OF LOVE. Jealousy is JUST the sensation of your Ego shouting at you, that IF you gave your beloved the CHOICE, they wouldn’t choose you.
(WHY WOULD YOU WANT to be with someone who WOULDN’T CHOOSE YOU?)
N) Appreciating that HUMANS CAN NOT BE PROPERTY. “Your partner” is ONLY “yours” so long as they choose to be, AND you choose for them to be… and this may end at any time.
There is NOTHING you can do to FORCE someone to love or belong to you. [See G) above.]
O) Recognizing that HATE is NOT an opposite of Love – rather, it is a special, highly-empassioned FORM of Love, normally saved for people who SUCK!
So long as you remain emotionally invested in the happiness and wellbeing of another person, you Love them.
Do not waste your Love on such people.