** This was originally crafted as a guide for guys – but essentially it applies equally to everyone **
Life is indeed a game, and learning which of its countless rules are applicable TO YOU is critical.
“Inner Game” is a convenient euphemism for having a “Satisfied Sense-of-Self”. The more richly developed you are AS A PERSON, the less crafty and manipulative you need to be as a Player, and the less you need to justify that you DESERVE the self-serving and empowering lifestyle you have chosen.
Once you wrap your mind around this, everything falls into place: Inner Game isn’t something you get taught, it isn’t something you study – it’s something you must EARN!
The irony is, ONLY YOU can award it to yourself.
This Self-Confidence is like Freedom: You must EARN it – it can’t be bought, borrowed, or stolen, nor can it be given away.(When Freedom is GIVEN to you, that’s ACTUALLY abandonment. Think about that!)
By earning your OWN respect, and satisfying yourself that you are becoming more fully-realized with each new experience you have, you begin TRULY to like yourself.
Most men are looking to live as playboys, but there is nothing innately positive about the ‘worthless playboy’ stereotype. Oh, it LOOKS like fun, but it’s empty and shallow…
The paradigm I recommend, alternatively, is “Worthy Playboy” and I elaborate on it further now:
To become a ‘Worthy Playboy’ you must develop yourself as a Renaissance Man; you should endeavour to gain a broad-base of knowledge in areas you believe people who’d interest you will be versed. This will help you to remain interesting to them also; as being interesting is INFINITELY more attractive than being ‘impressive’.
As a Worthy Playboy, you should be comfortable and confident enough to carry on conversations with women on subjects you have historically known nothing about, by candidly and sincerely encouraging them to share THEIR insights with you.
NEVER FORGET: Everyone’s favourite subject is themselves, and NOTHING makes you more attractive to another person than being INTERESTED in what they have to say.
This works for men and women alike – but women are far more impressed when they receive this attention from men (since most men are usually too arrogant to concede they might not know everything… Schmucks.)
A Worthy Playboy is never ashamed of NOT KNOWING, because A) no one can know everything, and B) women will be DELIGHTED that their knowing something you don’t isn’t intimidating to you – and they will be flattered that you’re man-enough to let them teach something to you.
“Know Thyself” said The Oracle, and that was profound advice – FOR SELF-DECEPTION IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.
Introspectively interrogate yourself to discover WHO YOU ARE as you develop – to ensure you haven’t lost sight of yourself.
Once you KNOW who you are, you’ll know what you’ll do. IF YOU ONLY DO THE THINGS WHICH MAKE SENSE TO YOU, in which you find yourself BOTH cerebrally and emotionally settled, and where your conscience is unperturbed, YOU’LL BE ACTING WITH ‘REASONED CONFIDENCE’.
This is the rational way of leading your life – by following these internal guidlelines, you’ll NEVER have reason for regret, and no justification for embarrassment, EVEN if things don’t work out immediately! (In such cases, dispassionately step back from the experience, return to the plan to see whether the problem was situational or persistant, and modify as-necessary before trying again.)
By proceeding ONLY with Reasoned Confidence, the only guilt you need EVER feel is the guilt of letting yourself down; the ONLY embarrassment, the embarrassment of making the same mistakes over again; the ONLY regret, the regret of not having come to this epiphany earlier.
Promise yourself regularily, “I will never do anything I wouldn’t do!” – and keep that promise faithfully – your internal consistency and congruency depends on it. Your ethical system should NOT have a ‘margin release key’ – that is the road to conscious hypocrisy (See “Self-Deception” above) and is nothing less than personal treason.
Explore your world – expand your horizons, develop new friendships with people of high integrity and ethics, and remain true to yourself and your word. Your relationships and your reputation are your strongest weapons in the battle against psychological misery and emotional defeat – make certain they are solid, just, and dependable as best you can.
As you progess, you will become comfortable that ANY PERSON (man or woman) with whom you interact will feel and be better-off for knowing you [even if it’s simply because you proved to them that GOOD MEN still exist, and find THEM interesting] and that they will feel better about themselves because they’ve spent time with you.
What could be a more-attractive attribute to have?
Most of all, YOU MUST BECOME SELF-ACTUALIZED – in other words, you need to find your comfort with yourself based on your confidently and successfully following your own path, and NOT narcissistically through the approval of others.
Permitting yourself to be held-back from progressing because you fear the disapproval of people you don’t admire is MADNESS!
Lead your own life, and conscientiously ensure you make all your descisionswith Reasoned Confidence, and when you are met with disapproving or taunting jibes from ‘the peanut gallery’ just take note of it – then DO AS YOU WILL, and watch as your detractors become your admirers.
There’s no arguing with success.